Tunnel Vision

According to the back of my cereal packet, Coco Monkey is on a mission to seek out the best breakfast cereals in the galaxy. This suggests one of two things. Either Kelloggs has access to technology they are not sharing with the rest of us, or Coco Monkey is really irritating everyone over at Kellogs HQ and they have invented this story to get rid of him, possibly shutting him up in a fake spaceship a little like in the film Capricorn One or Doctor Who and the Dinosaurs.

The second scenario is the most likely, but lets just suppose for a moment that the first is true and Kelloggs really have sent him off on a mission of galactic scope. You have to marvel at their single mindedness. I’m assuming that they are using some sort of Faster Than Light Drive, as I hardly think it would be possible to make a profit on new breakfast cereals they are not going to see for at least forty or fifty years whilst Coco makes the round trip. Surely there must be a better way to financially exploit their new hyperdrive, or are they so focussed on breakfast cereal they can’t see the bigger picture anymore? I’m also assuming that Kelloggs have already established that there are sufficient lifeforms in the galaxy with a metabolism similar to ours to turn a profit on the trip. There can be little point in Coco bringing back a breakfast cereal that is poisonous to humans (or indeed, monkeys). Again, given the existence of so many carbon based lifeforms similar to humans, surely Kelloggs could have simply exchanged knowledge for profit, for example selling aliens the secret of Special K in return for the formula for a new sort of fuel?

Like I said, the evidence from the back of the cereal box would suggest that Kelloggs have lost the plot. Frankly, its this sort of tunnel vision that is leading the world into financial meltdown.

2 Responses to Tunnel Vision

  1. Crofty says:

    And it’s this sort of narrow minded thinking that’s perpetuating this financial mess. If it wasn’t for people like Coco Monkey – prepared to seek out new ideas on little more than a whim and a faster-than-light spaceship – we would simply lurch into the next crisis the same as the current one, wondering how we got there.

    I’d replace Alistair Darling or that shiny-faced public school buffoon Osbourne with Coco Monkey any day.

    Vote Kelloggs!

  2. Flip says:

    Crofty – what?! You mean Alastair Darling isn’t Coco Monkey?

    Tony – breakfast time sounds really surreal in your house. I’m not awake enough that time of the morning to to understand the writing on the back of the cereal packet let alone think it through. Congrats on being a morning person!

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